New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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