you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
