Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
