Umm I'm too high to move.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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