I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
