Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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