I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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