btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
You know, be my cock's hype man.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Randomize