Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
