You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You don't make any sense
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