I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
