Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
