i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
