Where is the hickey?
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
