And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
