There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
