I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize