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it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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