Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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