Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Randomize
