just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
