Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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