They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
