You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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