***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
