dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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