walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
