my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
