My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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