They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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