Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I've blown a few things in my day
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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