nut hugger
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
