I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
At least life still wants to fuck me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
