Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
