i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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