yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
