I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
