Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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