I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
