You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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