I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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