All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
