But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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