im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
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