All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
