Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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