I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
