Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
home. puking in laundry basket.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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