I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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