Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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