I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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