It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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