He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
