from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
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