Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
My vagina is very pro this idea
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