You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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