i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
