let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
