I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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