At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
