no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
