now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize