apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Randomize
