How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
