I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
