Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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