Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
